Posts Tagged ‘the walking dead’

The Thinking Viking was in, shall we say, dire straights. St.Patrick’s day, San Francisco Bay, adrift under the Bay Bridge. The trip home on board the 39′ sailboat was..not going to plan. The plan did not include sails.  Thing has a diesel engine that is called by many “bulletproof”.  But…the silver bullet – the engine was over heated, fan belt broke, radiator boiling, the main sail was completely stowed for long term berthing, and we were adrift, under the Bay Bridge, in the path of the various SF Bay Ferrys and the big freighters heading for Oakland.

The internet meme joke about “How to Avoid Large Ships” suddenly has meaning. (ed: The correct meme is ”

How to Avoid Huge Ships”) wow – font copied, too.


I try to keep us pointed towards home, but with no power, it’s barely possible.  Captain breaks out a knife and the cursing begins.  Zip tie after zip tie is cut to free the main sail.  Cursing continues.

More cursing.  Coast Guard almost runs us down.

That motherfucking sail has to be lined up like a 60 foot zipper to get started.  Frustrated Captain can’t get it in place.  I take over because I see the stress is getting to him, he’s rushing in a mild – and well deserved – panic.

The sail starts to raise. Damn this thing is heavy, it’sjust not going up more than an inch or so at a time. Fuck the winch. I grap the ropes coming from the mast and basically lean my full weight on them. Sail raises a foot. Again. and Again. And again. My hands are chafing.

But at half sail, the boat starts to aim and drive.  The dry stiff rope are loosened and the winches start to work and the two of us get that damn thing up.

At this point, we return to the cut version of “Adrift” Adrift.  And there was much rejoicing.

Thank Neptune the tide was coming IN.

And we had a goram SPARE FAN BELT -that the Captain installed while I was sailing us slowly home.

Thinking, still better than being eaten by zombies, eh?



The Thinking Viking drives a compact 4×4 Subaru with the outback sport package.  Great car, solid, fast, not terribly expensive, but not cheap either   SO, anyway, I haven’t been writing here much since the election – so much fodder, I still have several drafts in the works, but that brings me to today’s topic.

A tool is only as effective as it’s user, and then only as effective as that user is able or chooses to use said tool. Cars are no different.  Sometimes you need to use your car a bit closer to its potential, push it a little, to get the best results.  And sometimes, mutual respect can create friendships without words.

Here’s the situation: California has been hit recently with some pretty nasty weather – they called it a “river in the air” and over several storms dumped several inches of rain.  I was driving to work during one of these deluges Wednesday morning (12/5/2012) , I was running hella late (but not worried about work – people understand with the weather) and I was just pulling onto the last stretch before journey’s end – a frontage road, long and straight with a  extra wide shoulder – primarily so that the big rigs that use the place can park off road and such, so its wide and basically a road right next to the road.  I usually hit this stretch at 45-50 MPH and the commute is done.

Here’s what happens this day and a couple of days later, via slightly edited (put in dates and corrected a couple of typos, may still be some) Facebook posts and comments.

“12/05/2012 To: The driver of the white Cadillac Escalade who I left covered in mud about fifteen minutes ago. 1. Sorry, I’m not normally an ass in traffic 2. You should have taken that off-road route around the construction and minor accident that I did (TIP you are driving one of the most powerful SUVs on the fucking planet) 3. the other Subaru behind me clearly thought the same, and I am not apologizing for his mud

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SJ- Seriously, the only reason I look at caddies now is because of Rock and Roll! That was the best advertising they ever did! It made me actually want a Cadillac for about 3 seconds!
Wednesday at 9:43am · Like

MJ idiot was sitting there balked at a “road closed” sign that only closed about 30 feet of “not paved’ construction zone, there was a minivan-minivan accident that was blocking the right turn a block ahead and piling everything up…. so yeah, I went off road and hit a rather big mud puddle at the bend…and the WRX behind me did exactly the same thing
Wednesday at 10:04am · Like

MJ *construction zone that was not being constructed due to weather – no workers put in danger
12/6/2012 -is it wrong that I am still grinning about splashing that shiny white Escalade with mud during the hellish rain past couple days?
Like · · Share · Promote · @MEJohnsen on Twitter · 23 hours ago via Twitter ·
AM and KTY like this.

MJ I think Subaru would approve.
22 hours ago · Like

AM Not wrong at all.
You don’t have to be a narcissistic douchesicle to drive an Escalade, but it helps.
22 hours ago · Like

MJ what really made me grin was the guy behind me – almost identical car as mine (for the record Subaru Impreza with Outback Sport options became the famed WRX), few years newer, and I think he kind of punched it in the mud at one particular spot

12/7/212 ok, that’s ten kinds of awesome. I look in the rear view while stopped at a light on my way to work? And who is grinning and waving? The “other Subaru” who helped me douse the white Escalade during the storm couplle days ago. Dude, when the zombies come, you’re on the team.
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3 and and 7 others like this.

TP- Remind me to stay away from you if I ever get a nice car! lol
11 hours ago · Unlike · 1

MJ Actually, my car is pretty nice, it’s just practical and didn’t cost 60K – and its paid for”

You don’t have to think about this one.